Torchwood Recap Index

Hey, Scavenger Thing
1x01 - Everything Changes
Episode Grade: A-
After a lot of running around, a fair bit of murder and suicide and a little amnesia, P.C. Gwen Cooper joins up with Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood.

Any Doe
1x02 - Day One
Episode Grade: C+
Let's talk about sex, baby.

Hm, I Echo Angst
1x03 - Ghost Machine
Episode Grade: A-
Owen gets himself some character development when the crew find a machine that shows echoes of the past.

Moany B Crew
1x04 - Cyberwoman
Episode Grade: C
Ianto's robot girlfriend is not nearly as cool as Sharon Agathon.

All LSD Worms
1x05 - Small Worlds
Episode Grade: C-
The crew have literally no effect whatsoever on the events of the episode, so... why were they even there, again?

Die-Cut Corny
1x06 - Countrycide
Episode Grade: D
It turns out it's man!

Frisking Eggbeaters
1x07 - Greeks Bearing Gifts
Episode Grade: A
Tosh finally gets her character development on, falling in love and reading minds and all kinds of hoo-hah, and she actually is maybe the best character on the show. Huh.

Geez! Key Up, Nihilist Elk!
1x08 - They Keep Killing Suzie
Episode Grade: A+
...But I wish they wouldn't, because Suzie is AWESOME.

Oh, Modern Ass
1x09 - Random Shoes
Episode Grade: F
If anyone needs me, I'll be over here watching paint dry, because I need some excitement after this dross. Watching paint dry INSIDE MY THROAT, that is. Because I DRANK it. Because this episode SUCKED SO MUCH.

Emo Outfit
1x10 - Out Of Time
Episode Grade: A+
A passenger plane from the '50s falls through time to the present day, and beauty ensues.

Mob Cat
1x11 - Combat
Episode Grade: B-
The first rule of Fight Club homages is... Screw it, I've never even seen that film. So, right, Owen infilrates a bunch of nihilists who are beating the crap out of Weevils for fun.

A Nap 'n' Heartsick Jacks
1x12 - Captain Jack Harkness
Episode Grade: A-
Captain Jack Harkness makes out with Captain Jack Harkness, and there is a "jacking off" joke in there somewhere, and I am not above making it.

Defy? No! Sad.
1x13 - End Of Days
Episode Grade: D
It's a completely incoherent mess, making it a fairly fitting end to the season.

Sugar Rush Recap Index

Blood Sex Sugar Magic
1x01 - Pilot
Episode Grade: B
GIRL ON GIRL ACTION! SCHOOL UNIFORMS! How could it possibly fail?

Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
1x02 - The Lies We Tell
Episode Grade: B-
Stella is a bad mother, Nathan is clueless, Sugar is selfish, Matt is weird. Nothing important actually happens in this episode that didn't already happen in the first one.

My Selfish Gene
1x03 - Chemical Warfare
Episode Grade: B+
Every one of the main characters is a horrible, awful example of a human being. Except Nathan, who's just clueless.

Growing On Me
1x04 - Transmission
Episode Grade: A
'Sexually transmitted' turns out to be a description sorely lacking in full details. Hilarity ensues.

Frenchy, I'm Faking
1x05 - In The Middle
Episode Grade: B+
Sugar falls for a suave French wanker and Kim mistranslates and manipulates her way into a kiss from Sugar.

Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone
1x06 - Sensitive
Episode Grade: B-
Tom the butt-monkey gets thrown an actual plotline in this one, not quite sleeping with Sugar and getting his dog kidnapped and unintentionally killed by Kim, but remains nothing but an annoying butt-monkey. Also, Sugar finally figures out that Kim is totally crushing on her.

Tonight May Have To Last Me All My Life
1x07 - Out
Episode Grade: B
Matt and Nathan continue their descent into total irrelevance, Stella and Dale get bored of each other and Sugar breaks Kim's heart a lot more than usual.

The Straight And Narrow
1x08 - Sugar Is Bad For You
Episode Grade: A
Kim has an eventful day, turning to the church to try to get over Sugar, then getting drunk, seducing a friendly neanderthal but falling at the last hurdle, then sleeping with Tom, who's actually quite cool all of a sudden. Meanwhile, Nathan takes Stella's suggestion that he be more spontaneous to heart, and almost kills her with summer pudding.

A Glimpse At The Good Life
1x09 - Coming Of Age, Part I
Episode Grade: A+
Kim finds salvation, thanks to Beth, the hot Scot from the GiD meeting last week, but throws it away at the last second in favour of continued misery, no thanks to Sugar.

Never Look At The Sun
1x10 - Coming Of Age, Part II
Episode Grade: A+
What do you do for a finale when your two leads outclass the rest of the cast, in terms of both characters and actors? If you answered "Give the rest of the cast a holiday", you're right. You're so right.

CC (You Set The Fire In Me)
2x01 - Just Visiting
Episode Grade: A-
18 months later, Sugar's incarcerated, and Kim learns a harsh lesson about life, and people, and how both of them have a habit of sucking a lot of the time. Yeah, another one.

I Believe In Symmetry
2x02 - One Way Or Another
Episode Grade: B
Saint gives Kim some slightly mixed signals, which of course makes her go crazy, but it all works out awesome in the end.

Gender Bombs
2x03 - Cock And Bull Stories
Episode Grade: B+
Saint's ex-boyfriend shows up, causing Kim to break out in the most severe case of penis envy you ever did see. Also, Sugar's out of prison at last.

Hex Recap Index

Less "British Buffy", More "Lesbian Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased)"
1x01 - The Story Begins
Episode Grade: C
A blandly nice looking blandly nice blonde girl does nothing of interest for the best part of an hour, then gets her best friend/roommate/lesbian lover killed.

...And On And On And On
1x02 - Life Goes On
Episode Grade: C-
The plot, good as it may or may not be, continues to move at a glacial pace. Thelma's ghostly abilities make no sense, then at the very end of the episode, she discovers that Cassie is probably related to Rachel. Cassie, after much hemming and hawing, decides to go on a date with Troy at the very end of the episode. Find out what actually happens next week, I guess.

Better To Hold A Candle
1x03 - Deeper Into The Darkness
Episode Grade: B
Things take a turn for the worse for Cassie, but better for the audience, when Azazeal stops being creepy and starts doing creepy.

Nine Tenths Of The Lore
1x04 - Possession
Episode Grade: A-
Demonic possession makes Cassie many times more interesting to watch as she cheerfully goes around monumentally fucking up her own life. Meanwhile, Thelma meets Pippi, who momentarily gets a little "Only Lesbian Ghost In The College", but they soon bond over some Egyptian exposition.

Christians Ruin Everything!
1x05 - The Release
Episode Grade: B+
Fearful all ye nations rise/Join the sorrow of the skies/With the demonic host proclaim/Antichrist is born in Medenham!

Failed Again!
2x01 - Cursed
Episode Grade: C-
The Great Cast Reshuffle Of '05 begins in earnest and most of the episode is wasted on a failed attempt to make Poor Felix sympathetic before he gets offed by one of the Nephilim, who really don't live up to their own hype.

Skins Recap Index

The Smarm Before The Storm
1x01 - Tony
Episode Grade: C+
Meet Tony! Although, personally, I'd advise you against it, the guy is an absolute tool.

Food For Thought
1x02 - Cassie
Episode Grade: A-
Meet Cassie! Wow! She doesn't quite see the world the same way as the rest of us, and but for a precious few, the rest of us don't quite see her either.

Play That Funky Music, White Boy
1x03 - Jal
Episode Grade: C
Meet Jal! She likes the classical music, her family like the rap music, and all leads to all kinds of wacky conflicts, but they all love each other underneath it all. Also, MAD TWAT IS GONE FOREVER!