Tonight May Have To Last Me All My Life

Sugar Rush Episode 1x07 - "Out"

Episode Grade: B


For, I think, the first time ever, KimVo does not use the phrase "gay virgin" in the previouslies. So, previously: Kim is a gay virgin, Sugar finally noticed. Some other stuff too, but since it doesn't concern those two, it's not really that important.

KimVo informs us that she's been hiding in her room for a week. Sugar calls, Kim ignores it, and if she's been there for a week, you'd think either or both of them would have got bored of doing that by now. Once again, the writes defeat the object of the previously by flashing back to Sugar's "Maybe you like me then" and the intense silence that followed. Nathan enters as the camera surveys a week's worth of dirty clothes and half empty glasses and things scattered around the room. Yeah, they've got teenage girls down. Nathan tells her that he knows she's not feeling well, but she should come downstairs once in a while. Then he adds "Spend time together as a family", which appears to be his version of an "um" or "er" or pause when he can't think of anything else to say. Nathan opens the curtains, which Kim hasn't done because because teenagers' worlds are dark and airless and as the sun shines on her face, KimVo decides that it's time to "come out and face the music."

In the bathroom, Matt is rooting through some feminine hygiene prducts, because, in case you hadn't noticed, he's weird. Kim asks what the hell he's doing, and he solemnly informs her that he's started his period. Yes, the writers have run out of things to do with him.

As Kim heads out, Nathan asks where she's going and Nathan, I swear, starts to say "Oh, Kim. I think you should spend more time together as a family." which doesn't even actually make sense. But anyway, Kim interrupts and successfully distracts his attention by telling him he should pay attention to the fact that his son is menstruating.

"There's only so long you can escape reality," KimVo starts, "But still, coming out to Sugar wasn't something that could be approached easily." I don't think it counts as 'coming out' when she's already known for a week, KimVo. "You could hardly describe Sugar as being particularly sensitive, open minded or PC." By way of evidence, here's a flashback of Sugar having some sort of problem with a fruit machine, and accusing a random gay couple of doing something to it, which seems to be more down to the fact that they're standing closest than any homophobia. That's hardly compelling evidence. When the bouncer tells her to stop kicking the machine, she also calls him a "fat dwarf" though, which I guess at least covers the first and last point pretty well. Back to present day, Sugar's leaning over a railing in a way that doesn't look at all comfortable, and smoking. Kim approaches, and stands right up next to her. Sugar doesn't appear to acknowledge her presence, and Kim starts playing with her phone. Is she going to call Sugar and say "Hey, I'm standing right next to you"? That would be funny. Sugar asks if Kim's phone being broken is the reason why she isn't returning her calls, then tells her "I know you fancy me, so you might as well stop acting like a twat about it" and walks away. She's handling this so much better than Kim. I like her a lot more in this episode than I do in any other, I think. Well, the stuff that goes down at the end, anyway.

Back home, Matt tells Nathan he had a dream about "curvy pink aliens", and when he woke up his sheets were stained, hence the menstruation crap, and that's enough of this ridiculous subplot, thank you very much. Oh hey, they actually have redecorated Matt's room in pink. I appreciate the nod to continuity in that, but it's not enough to make up for the boredom of Nathan talking crap about how boys are different from girls for, like, an hour.

So, over to the Decorating Den to watch Dale and Stella have sex and dammit, this is boring too. Seriously. They show too much of it. So, Stella puts her back out because she's not as young as she wants to be. Over to Kim already, please.

Oh, hey, thanks. In the bathroom of the same club Kim and Sugar are always at, which I guess I should have a nickname for by now... I'll get back to you on that. Anyway, KimVo's all "So, that's it. I'm 'out'." Kim looks at all the exciting and varied graffiti; "TWAT LOVER", "RUG MUNCHER" and, best of all, "CLAIRE DOES LADY LOVE WITH [not shown]". I think that would make a good name for a band. Sugar enters, KimVo is anxious to hear what she actually thinks about the whole lesbian thing, but Sugar is pretending like nothing has happened at all. Kim appears to have been replaced by a waxwork, saying nothing and staring straight ahead.
Back in the main club, Sugar plays pool and has put a cue in waxwork Kim's hands, and tells her she caught Daz with a fourteen year old, who, unlike Sugar, he let put her feet up on the dashboard of his car. Which is what Sugar is outraged about, rather than the whole paedophilia thing. Being a waxwork, Kim has nothing to say. Sugar gets frustrated with her inability to ignore the elephant, and says "Just because you're a pussy lover, don't make you deaf as well, does it?" which causes Kim to scoop the cueball off the table.

Decorating Den. Dale massages Stella's back, but is not too good at it, so Stella tells him to forget about it. They do that "So..." "So..." thing that people who have nothing in common do when they have to stop having sex for some reason. Stella thinks they should try talking, Dale thinks they should try PlayStation games (See, because Stella is older than Dale. Subtly done, eh.) Both assume the other is joking, and are slightly horrified to discover they aren't. Dale says "we've got hours until PJ's", which seems to be pushing the "Dale is young" thing a little too hard. Oh wait, "It's Friday. We're going clubbing." So I guess "PJ's" is the name of the club. I'm not actually sure if it's the same as Kim and Sugar's usual place, but I need a nickname for it, so it's becoming "The Pyjama Party" regardless.

Oh dear, Nathan's still yammering. Also, punching a punching bag, while Matt clings to the other side for dear life. Blah blah, Nathan struggles to cope with the conflicting demands of males in modern society. I don't care. Nathan punches harder and harder, rants louder and louder about "lonely depressed bitterness" and shit, then pulls back for a harder blow and misses the punching bag completely, punching Matt in the face. Well, it's good that you're doing things together as a family, right Nathan?

Kim and Sugar, sitting on the beach. Kim looks kind of worryingly pale here. I don't know what's up with that. "My family are freaks", she says. Yes, I know already. She blames Stella's habit of making "public events of her bodily functions" for Matt's menstruation. Stella really is just completely awful in every way, isn't she? "Nathan still thinks she'll come back." Sugar agrees with him, because she thinks Dale will get bored an "start chasing some younger ass", with the terrible attempt at an American accent she always does on the word 'ass'. Would it kill you to just say 'arse'? Honestly. Anyway, Sugar says it's like Daz; "sixteen and he thinks you're past it." That doesn't actually sound like the same thing at all, Sugar. How old is Daz, anyway? Old enough for that to be icky, I'm sure. Sugar goes on "He just can't stomach the fact that you've probably got more GCSE's than what he has; Metalwork and a 'U' in Computer Science." She goes on that she's through with him, and The Donkey, who was only worthwhile to cheat on Daz for. But no mention of poor maligned Ray the doorman. "Of course, there is always Tom," she adds, "Trigger happy Tom, with the fastest gun in the west", which for some reason I can't fathom, Kim takes as a jibe at her. What? Sugar interestedly asks Kim about lesbianism, saying "You've got to have a few tricks up your sleeve to make up for the fact that there's no cock." Kim is all embarrassed and Sugar keeps needling, and Kim has no answers, and Sugar realises that Kim doesn't actually know what these tricks would be, and asks how she can be sure she's really a lesbian if she's never even "given it a whirl". Kim pleads "can we talk about something else?" and, at Sugar's questioning, embarrassedly tells her she's not embarrassed. So, they lie back on the beach and Sugar kind of cedes to Kim's request, and tells her she's off men, then gives her a significant look and single entendres "I reckon it's time I found other ways to enjoy myself." Now, I'm pretty sure that counts as still talking about it, but I suppose Kim is probably not going to complain.

So, there's a joyous montage of Kim and Sugar riding various amusement park rides (though, not the dream waltzer, which I'm sure I could ascribe some irrelevant significance to, if i wanted), and doing a lot of giggling and smiling at each other and throwing candy floss at each other and the like. And then maybe we can have a montage of Nathan and the wagon full of pancakes as door-to-door salesmen down on their luck, but that's perhaps a little obscure. Anyway, Kim and Sugar are totally in looooooooove. See, they're sitting on deckchairs with their FEET TOUCHING. And Sugar, with more than a little hesitance in her eyes which Kim doesn't see, of course, offers her hand to Kim, and they sit holding hands, and it would be really sweet if it wasn't obvious that this is far too easy. Kim and Sugar are both far too fucked up to just make it work like that, and besides, there's still three and a half episodes to go.

In Paradise now, like, actually, Kim watches Sugar twirl around in a skimpy red dress. Sugar asks what Kim thinks, an gives a jovially offended eyeroll at her "nice", so Kim amends to "Amazing. Gorgeous." Sugar gives a 'that's better' smile, and brings out a perhaps slightly even less substantial dress for Kim to wear. Kim is all "I am SO not wearing that", and Sugar is like "Your double standards astound and amuse me", and they get all cutesy joke-insulting each other again, then Sugar starts forcibly undressing Kim, so, yeah, Kim's having fun.

Back home, Nathan is tending to Matt's injuries and apologising. He's been a little depressed since Stella left, which, kind of noticed when you were passed out on the kitchen floor that one time. This scene serves no useful purpose, but at least it's short.

In PJ's, which appears not to be Kim and Sugar's usual place. I bet that now I've named it, they're not ever going to go back there. Anyway, Stella does a line of coke, and starts nodding her head to the music, and Dale's friends are all like, "what the fuck is someone OVER 25 doing here?!", and Stella makes it worse by asking "Doesn't anyone want to dance? Isn't that what you're supposed do at nightclubs?" Dale is embarrassed, Stella is OLD, repeat and fade. Unlike the previous scene, this one is not mercifully short.

Back to the story I actually care about, Sugar's got Kim out of her clothes and into the dress, and they're running along a darkened street. Sugar offers Kim a little heart-shaped tablet (I'm not up enough on drug recognition, obviously). Kim nervously says she's never done one before, so they take half each, and go into the club. Which is not The Pyjama Party, so looks like my stupid nickname may indeed be totally going to waste. Bastards.

And now it gets really cool. "Some people say their first time on E [Thanks, KimVo!] made them love everybody." Lights shine all in the camera and it's a little disorienting, in the manner of 'I'm on a TV show and I've taken drugs' scenes everywhere, but Kim, smiling, radiant, keeps us centred. KimVo continues; "But mine wasn't like that. I mean, I liked them, I was glad they were there, but only as witnesses to the one love I was feeling." So, you know what's coming after this much pride, right? Kim slomos through the crowd to Sugar, and everyone else's face is obscured by lens flares or drinks or strings of beads hanging from the ceiling (yeah, I know, what the hell). It's really nicely done. Sugar and Kim dance, and the rest of the world melts away. Well, until Generic Chav #19 interrupts to ask "Are you two lesbians?" and Sugar says "Yeah, we are" and laughs, because it's a game to her, but Kim, of course, doesn't pick up on that, because living in reality has just got nothing on the other thing. Kim is mesmerised completely by everything. Sugar kisses her, for the second time, which again gets the camera spinning, but it's a lot slower this time. It's more real this time. The kiss lasts a full minute, and I'm actually not exaggerating this time. It's beautiful. It's a lie, but a beautiful one. After they eventually disengage, Kim serenely goes to buy drinks, and KimVo tells us how she normally worries that they'll peg her as underage, but today she's oozing confidence. "Tonight, I was buying my girlfriend a drink, and nothing could stop me." she proudly proclaims. Kim returns with drinks and here comes the fall; Turns out Sugar's time on E is following the "love everybody" trend, because she's making out with Generic Chav #19. And the world comes crashing back.

Kim exits, throws up on the beach and cries, and we the camera goes to her face, and damn, that is not pretty. Which is completely realistic, of course, but man. I'm really feeling her hurt. I know I say this all the damn time, but Olivia seriously is a great actress. Kim stumbles across the beach, and happens upon Stella, though she has to get, like, two inches away from her before she realises who it is. Stella looks up, and Kim cries some more, and this is just not going to go well. I mean, it's Stella. Frankly, Kim, you'd be better off laying your burdens on Generic Chav #19. So, they've found a burger bar and Stella, wasted, keeps shouting "No, onions!" and the guy can't figure out if the comma is there or not, and in spite of it all, this is hilarious. Kim eventually clarifies that Stella does want onions, and takes the burger to Stella who's sat down on a fence. Stella waves it away and says "I'm not hungry, thanks." Hah! Oh, that is great. Kim looks down at the burger, confused. Stella goes first with the pity party, naturally, telling Kim "He beat me." Kim, quite reasonably, assumes the worst, because, I mean, I don't even know what Stella's actually talking about. "No, no, he beat me. He won." Sure. Whatever you say. Stella mumbles for a while, getting all depressed about whatever. The basic gist is that it's over between stella and Dale, I guess. Stella suddenly grabs the burger from Kim and takes a bite to cheer herself up, I guess. This burger deserves a comedy award of some kind, I tell you. "He was only good for fucking," Stella continues, "You know, I got bored, I actually got bored." Kim is like, "I can't believe that today of all days I have to listen to this from my mother." And it gets worse, of course. It always, always gets worse; Stella moves onto Nathan, saying "18 years we'd been together. Can you imagine how hard that is, how it sucks the lifeblood away from you?" Kim points out that she was there for 15 of them, but that's not Stella's pain, so Stella doesn't care. "Do you hate me?" Stella asks. First time so far she's wanted to know anything about what Kim's feeling, and it's what Kim's feeling about her. You weren't her mother, the answer would be yes, because, seriously, you have no redeeming features, Stella. Kim's answer is awesome; "It would make things a hell of a lot easier." Stella rests her head on Kim's shoulder, and finally shuts up so Kim can actually tell her what the crying was all about. Only because she's fallen asleep, but you take what you can get. "I thought I'd found the woman of my dreams tonight," Kim tells her, then, bitterly, "You and her are quite alike." Which, no shit, but now you've figured it out, Kim, you can get to finding someone better, because God knows you need to.

And, to close, sad music montage of Kim and Stella and the wagon full of pancakes getting a cab home, interspersed with flashbacks of Kim's half day of ecstacy, and KimVo chats about how "there are some moments in life you know you'll never forget," this night being a prime example. Three to go, which, in US-length terms would be about five or six, which is about the time to start upping your game and setting up the pieces for a season finale. The second half of this one did an excellent job of kicking that off, after NOTHING HAPPENED in the first half.