Sugar Rush 2x03 - "Cock And Bull Stories"Episode grade: B+Previously: Saint is pretty awesome! And Sugar is still wasting away in prison, sigh.
Now, Kim is hanging around the Munch Box, playing with a whip and grinning mischeviously. That is certainly a good way to get my attention focused on this episode right away. KimVo proudly proclaims "It's been 48 hours, and I still haven't fucked it up yet." Kim should totally get one of those "[37] days since employee death" signs. "[02] days since I last sabotaged my own happiness for some stupid reason." Or just "[2] days", because she really would never need the second digit. "I'd already negotiated the most difficult question of any new relationship," KimVo continues; said question turns out to be, apparently, "lesbian outhouse or multiplex?" Right. Kim chose the worng answer, because the film they ended up seeing was reportedly awful, but that really doesn't make it the wrong answer as far as I can see. KimVo slightly awkwardly exposits that she and Saint haven't slept together yet, like DUH, that is obviously going to happen onscreen. Or, like, just to the side of the screen or onscreen but really, really blurry, or whatever way they decide to make it tasteful. You know, as this show goes, anyway. Kim's rather apprehensive about that subject right now, because "satisfying the girl who works in a sex shop was a frightening prospect." And she's been invited to Saint's place (which turns out to be right above the Munch Box) for lunch, "whatever that means." Kim whips her own hand rather too hard and winces in pain, but Saint's too busy serving a customer to see. Nonetheless, KimVo expresses concern about her inexperience with any of the crap that Saint sells, and we get a little Kim Fantasy Theatre for old times' sake; Saint's all decked up in crazy bordello gear and babbles something about black cherries and clit pumps and whatever, Kim looks positively terrified.
Record scratch back to reality; Saint, all decked up in normal people clothes, asks if she wants tuna or ham in her sandwiches; Kim picks tuna. (Hee hee. Subtle.) Kim makes a fairly lame attempt at small talk; "So, it must be convenient living here. You don't have far to go." Saint agrees and jokes that it's also handy because she can pop upstairs for a quickie with any customers that happen to take her fancy. Kim nervously says "That wass a joke, right?", Saint quite rightly chuckles "God, you're paranoid", and then suddenly affects a face of grim seriousness and says "Maybe." Kim rabbits in the headlights some more.
Later, Kim's perched on the very edge of the sofa, ready to bolt at the slightest movement, next to Saint, who is taking a relaxed sip from a gigantic mug of tea. Seriously, it's bigger than her head. I WANT ONE. Kim suddenly blurts out "So, how d'you want to do this?" Saint gives her an eyebrow raise and grins because our Kimmy is just so damn cute when she's completely out of her element like this. Kim realises off Saint's grin that she's fucking up here, but also realises that Saint doesn't mind. Saint kindly tells her they don't have to do anything except sit there and watch TV, if she's not ready, and so that's what they do, Kim resting her head on Saint's chest adorably. Awwwwwwww. And then she slowly reaches out and brushes her hand against Saint's knee, traces it across to Saint's hand and brings that up to her own face. And then slowly, achingly slowly, glacially slowly, they turn, and kiss, and we've got the ethereal music going and all, and it's so intimate and so wonderful.
I'm going to skip ahead a little here, because I just want to keep watching this next sequence forever, and if I attempt to recap the details, I probably will. Plus there's no way I can formulate the words to do it justice, you know? So we'll just go with this; They make love. It is the best possible description of what is happening right here. "That wasn't half as scary as I thought it was going to be", Kim admits, and the two of them bask in the afterglow.
Ballymeade. Kim's come along to boast, really, but only in body language. Sugar's looking thoroughly miserable, Kim assures her, as usual, that she'll be fine, "I thought you'd be pleased to be getting out of here!" Oh, she is? That
is good news! Because two episodes was about the limit for the interesting storyline prospects of Sugar in jail, really. "You don't have a fat arse, you don't have a heroin habit," Kim continues, because of course she remembers every detail of
that night. Sugar complains that, on the other hand, her tits have totally given up the ghost due to lack of attention and pokes dejectedly at them in demonstration. Kim breezily tells her she's just got to chuck herself back out there, take it one day at a time, take the good with the bad, hope springs eternal, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and everything will work out fine in the end, so just
chill. Sugar finally notices Kim's blinding luminosity and yells "You've had a shag, haven't you?" Kim instinctively denies it, Sugar declares her to be extremely obvious and suddenly grabs her hand, demanding to smell her fingers. Um. Kim jerks away and then relents and stops trying to hide the glow. Sugar, a little bit too casually, asks "What's this one like then, you serious about her?" Kim, a lot more convincingly than usual, lies that she is just "picking them up, moving on." I know you don't want to hurt Sugar's feelings and all, Kim, which of course it would, even if she'd never admit it, and plus you are something of a pathological liar, but that's not really going to fly once Sugar is out of prison and totally able to observe with her own eyes that you are totally crazy about this Saint chick.
Anyway, now we are flashing back to some more post-coital serenity. Kim absently traces her finger over Saint's tattoos and asks her how many people she's had up here. "Only you," Saint says earnestly. "Or 365." Kim's all faux-haughtily "Oh, so it's like that then", and then Saint admits that neither is true, "but at the moment? Only you." And if you have read
this and you have read
this, then you can probably imagine the expression on my face right now. It is, in fact, remarkably similar to the one that Kim is sporting right now. Saint adds "I don't do this all the time, you know", Kim replies that she certainly doesn't, "Only twice, in fact." "Anna and...?" Aw, shit, I was getting tto caught up in the moment, and totally failed to realise that Kim hasn't even STARTED on that whole minefield yet. I'm worried. Don't let me down, Kim! Kim says "Oh, nobody you know." OK, that's fair enough, I guess. "Sugar," Kim continues, and then sort of shrugs her face and LIES "Don't really see her any more." She's definitely getting better at lying; there is a little telltale twitching and looking away, but that could easily be taken as simple nostalgia for her first time. Also, it looks like we're well on the way to setting that counter back to [0], guys!
Speaking of conversational minefields, let's head on back to Ballymeade and see what those two crazy kids are up to now! Smoking. Tut tut. Also, Sugar puts on her full bravado about how wonderful it is that Kim is "getting [her] end away", because it stops her mooning after Sugar so much and they can still totally be BFFs. Which Sugar is in dire need of, given that Kim is the only person who has ever visited her for her entire 18 month sentence. Kim brushes that off with a dismissive "That's not true", and Sugar doesn't even bother to argue, but, I mean, what if it is? Put yourself in Sugar's shoes there; that is going to affect you. Sugar, as lightly, casually as she can manage, tells Kim that as she clearly enjoys seeing so much of Sugar while she's in the slammer, she won't mind seeing more of her once she's out. Kim agrees without a moment's hesitation, obviously, and Sugar, tacitly acting like Kim hass already agreed to it, asks "So, can I stay then?"
So many masks being worn all over the place; Sugar's got the one she almost never takes off, and then this much more awkward one right here trying to pretend that Kim hasn't become the whole world to her. Kim's got her quiet desperation to keep Sugar and the past well away from Saint and the future. She doesn't realise it on a conscious level, but Kim really, really isn't happy about Sugar being released. Saint's got all her little teasing jokes with Kim and... well, we don't know her well enough to know what else. Right now, she could just as well be Beth, who never stayed around long enough for the cracks to show, but from the words "Sarah Jane Potts" written in the opening credits we know that Saint's in for the long haul, and something is going to give, very soon.
"So, can I stay then?" So many masks being shed right now, while Kim and Sugar stare into each other's eyes, daring the other to look away. Sugar ups the ante; "I haven't got anywhere else to go, Kizz", and that is enough to make Kim fold. "You know, that might be a bit difficult," she admits. Sugar quite ludicrously asks if Nathan is the cause of this difficulty, like he'd ever take enough of a hardline stance to cause a difficulty in this scenario. Also, we're getting close to the halfway point of this episode, and Stella and Nathan have not appeared yet, and
I only just noticed. That is how much I am watching this show for their storylines. Kim shakes her head, and Sugar laughs "You then?" Kim just stares, unable to come up with the words. It's exactly like
the time she finally came out to Sugar. Another staring contest ensues, and Sugar folds first this time; "It's alright, uh, Karen's getting out this week too, I can just kip with her." Kim smiles thankfully.
And heeeeeere's Nathan with the ironic juxtaposition! "So, does Sugar have any special dietary requirements?" Does she like tuna or ham, is what he is really asking. Matt deadpans "She only eats cock" and Stella giggles. Go away, Matt, you're ruining the subtlety. Kim complains that she hasn't actually agreed to let Sugar stay, but there's a telling "yet" on the end of that sentence. Nathan asks if she doesn't think it's a bit harsh, "dumping her when she needs you the most". Kim tells him that she's not dumping, she's just "taking a back seat for a while." Nathan's all "Does she have anywhere else to go?", Kim rants that it's Sugar's own fault that she's in prison and storms out. "If only she could have stayed in there another couple of months," KimVo sighs, so I guess I was way off the mark with that whole "doesn't realise it on a conscious level" thing. Huh.
CC! You set the fire in me! Kim watches Saint doing her DJ thang and rockin' her signature beret. Anna appears to once again personify Kim's paranoia. Dammit, I could have sworn we were shot of her already. Grrrr. So, she tries to make Kim worry that Saint is actually something of a ham fan, with the usual "Oh, I'm sorry, I'd have thought she'd have told you by now" bullshit, to which Kim fantastically responds "I think she was too busy telling me she wanted to fuck me." Hell yeah! Anna stalks off into the shadows, and this time it's the last we'll see of her, OK. I'm
sure of it. Outside, Saint tells Kim she has an early start tomorrow, "but I'll give you a call, yeah?" They kiss, and Saint wishes her sweet dreams. "Never been sweeter," KimVo grins. Right on!
Next morning, Kim's walking down the street, carrying two cups of coffee, being obnoxiously cheerful to random strangers. I don't remember the last time we saw her this happy, so of course everything's about to come crashing down very soon, just like it always does. But first Kim's got to spread the happiness around as much as she can. She's so selfless like that. So, Sugar is indeed going to be staying at Kim's, and we all know that's going to be crazy awesome. And as soon as Kim has announced her relentment, Sugar's mask of bravado comes straight back on and she's making demands, because this means she's in charge of the situation again; "You'll pick me up, in a car that is, and I'm
not going down on you, alright?" KimVo gives herself the appropriate deathblow as she enters the house above the Munch Box; "I'd found the perfect girlfriend." So of course, the door is opened by some sweaty dude in a white t-shirt. He and Kim stare in confusion, Saint appears, equally sweaty, and in the process of either removing or putting on a jumper. She and Sweaty Dude share a significant glance, then burst into a fit of giggles. Kim does not share their mirth.
Later, we've got
Nouvelle Vague, who have their music all over this show, doing their version of the Buzzcocks' "Ever Fallen In Love?", which is really quite an amazing cover. Kim's down at the pier, throwing balls at tin cans with extreme prejudice, while KimVo announces that she is "sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for why they were both semi-naked [that's... really stretching the truth, honestly], soaking wet, giggling like idiots." Which you apparently didn't try, y'know, actually asking for. Honestly, Kim, sometimes I think you kind of deserve all the shit that routinely gets heaped all over you. "Surely I hadn't found myself another Sugar," KimVo moans, as stupid Anna's stupid words echo in her mind. Back at the Upper Munch Box, Saint introduces Sweaty Dude as Mark, and he explains that he was "just fixing the boiler", to which Saint playfully hits him and says "Yeah, right!", adds "he's an old friend" and starts giggling again. OK, even if Kim's totally got the wrong end of the stick, you're being kind of cruel to her here. Don't tell me you haven't noticed that stony expression on her face.
On the beach now, Saint comes over to smooth things over with Kim, finally, while Mark goes off to get get drinks for Kim and "Sarah". Saint asks what the problem is, exactly, and Kim, realising it all sounds pretty stupid and petty while she's saying it, but careening onwards to the end of the sentence anyway explains; "I didn't know you had an ex. Well, no, I assumed you would have an ex, but I thought maybe he would be a she. I didn't know you were called Sarah, either." Saint apologises for not telling Kim what was going on earlier, but tells her she and Mark were never serious, and they haven't seen each other in ages, "but I didn't know who else to call". To fix your boiler? Try the Yellow Pages, dear. Yeah, there's something decidedly suspicious about that, I must admit. Also, as Kim observes on his return; Mark has the same dotted swastika tattoo as Saint. "'Never serious', my arse", are Kimvo's words, and I think that sums it up pretty well.
"So, Kim, you're a student?" says Mark on his return, trying to warm up the icy chill in the air. Kim tries hard to mask her anger and disdain as she responds "And you're a plumber." Mark corrects her; he's actually an architect, and asks which university she's at. Saint corrects him; "Actually, Kim's still doing her A levels". Mark's all "Oh, that's when I met Sarah, at sixth form college!" and the two of them start bantering about The Good Old Days, until Saint notices Kim's discomfort. In her crazy obsessive jealous fantasy world, Kim throws her coke in Mark's face; in the real world, she asks him to pass her a straw, while KimVo hilariously rants "He was a proper adult, with a proper job, and a proper penis. Let's face it, I couldn't compete." Let's not be hasty, now. Kim and Mark shake hands and affirm that it was nice meeting each other, though KimVo does not share the sentiment. Saint tells Kim "I'll see you later", Kim gets all upset because she thought she was supposed to have a monopoly on Saint's time today, Saint says "I can't just drag him all the way out here and then desert him!" And, once again; if you had to "drag him all the way out here", then... well, the guy's got to have some seriously impressive skills at fixing boilers, that's all I'm saying. Saint assures Kim that she'll get Saint all to herself later and then departs. KimVo worries about "how long it would be before she missed men. How long it would be before she missed..."
"COCK!" Sugar continues, still in ol' Ballymeade, of course. "That's what it comes down to, isn't it? Plus, this whole lesbian thing's not really natural. Even cavemen know that if you wanna get a fire going? You need a stick, and a hole." You know, I'm pretty sure that rubbing two sticks together is supposed to be just as effective, actually. "I mean, I suppose it's alright to experiment, like I did with you, and you did with Tom, but you can't swing both ways forever, you've gotta land somewhere." So, why are we assuming that Saint hasn't already landed the same way as Kim, exactly? "And trust me, once you've had a nice, hard cock, there's no way you want to stick your lips around a load of fish. Fish, with toilet paper stuck to it. Eugggh." I don't think there's really much I can say to all that.
"Talking of being mad for cock, Stella was meeting our new neighbours." Oh, how I've missed those glorious segues. So, new neighbour is a fitness instructor named Ted (and his wife, and who knows what the hell her name is, but she doesn't have a proper penis, so why would we care?). Stella flirts away, Nathan looks on, trying to trust, but probably not succeeding.
"Some women just can't help themselves," KimV(em)o continues, "sometimes life seems to give you everything just so it can take it away again." KIM! Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself; either accept the explanation Saint has given you, and be happy, or don't, explain why not, and demand a better one. It's not that hard, c'mon. There's a knock at the door, Kim says "Hi, dad", and, on his questioning, explains that she knew it was him because no one else knocks. I like that. They both lie to each other that they are totally fine and have not a care in the world, and then Kim roundaboutly asks for his advice, which he gives; "In the end, love is about sticking your neck on the line, knowing that it's probably going to get chopped off." Well, that is pretty much exactly the answer I would expect out of Nathan.
"So there I was. Sticking my neck on the line again." Saint and Kim are sharing another tender moment in bed; Saint gives Kim a present. Aaaand... it's a strap-on. Well, that's a fantastically stupid way of reaffirming Kim's penis envy.
Meanwhile, back at Manse Daniels, Nathan passive-agressives "The new neighbours seem nice, don't they?" Stella disinterestedly says "Yeah, I suppose," Nathan belabours the point as much as possible before finally coming right out and saying "You were kind of flirting with him. Do you have to do that?" Stella assures him, dripping with fake sincerity, that she is "with you, and only you, OK? You're just going to have to trust me." Nathan sighs and sticks his neck on the line, again.
Kim yawns and stretches in Saint's bed, and then hears the door closing and gets out of bed. "You'd better be making me breakfast, and you'd better be bringing it back to bed," she says, having apparently put all the doubts out of her head again, so of course it turns out to be Mark who just walked in. He explains that he came back to check the boiler, Kim hysterically rants "There's nothing wrong with the bloody boiler! Hey, would I be standing here in my underwear if I was cold?" Mark, at this, fully takes in the fact that Kim is indeed standing there in her underwear, looking... not cold.
Awkward. She asks how he got in; he has his own set of keys. Naturally.
So, Kim storms into the Munch Box, where Saint is idly flicking through a book, and informs her that "this isn't funny any more." Saint denies Kim's accusations that she is still sleeping with Mark, which sends Kim off on a totally insane tirade. "You're not a lesbian at all! You're addicted to cock! And this is all just one big cover up for the customers. 'Oh, of course I'm gay, you bunch of sad, dried up old queers!'" She grabs a huge rubber cock for emphasis. "'Please buy my dildos!'" Saint just glances over at a couple of sad, dried up old queers who have been in the shop the whole time, and do not look particularly impressed; Kim gives an embarrassed "Hi, there" and storms outside, where she gets funny looks on account of the fact that she is still holding her emphatic dildo.
Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone, ever fallen in love? In love with someone you shouldn't've fallen in love with? Manse Daniels. Nathan appears to be helping Matt with some maths homework. Kim marches in, slams the cock down on the table in front of them, yells "Don't ask!" and stomps upstairs. Matt inspects it curiously for a while and then asks "Is it supposed to be that big?" Nathan mutters "Hope not, Matt. Hope not." then gets back to what he was doing. Hee.
Kim sits in her room, dejectedly. There's a knock at the door, and she yells "No, I don't want to explain to you how to use it, and no, you can't use it on Stella." It... doesn't seem like the kind of thing that require a great deal of explanation, as far as I can see. But, anyway, Saint asks "Who's Stella?", for it is she who is at the door. Jump forward in time what can't be more than a few seconds, for some unknown reason; Saint is now sitting on Kim's bed beside her. Kim admits that she might have said a few things that were slightly out of order, and yes, that includes the part where she accused Saint of pretending to be a lesbian. "He's clearly still in love with you," Kim pouts, which is pretty much one of those "I cannot comprehend other people believing something different to what I believe" things, because he really, really isn't. Saint tells Kim that there's plenty of stuff she doesn't know about, either, and they both agree that they are having a good time together and Kim really ought to stop worrying.
But then it's time for one of the things Saint doesn't know about to rear it's ugly head; a parole officer or whatever is here to confirm things about the living arrangements with Sugar; "I understand she'll be sharing a room with you, Kim?" Saint overhears, and quite reasonably objects to Kim's massive hypocrisy vis รก vis exes and how much they are allowed to continue to be a part of one's life, and doesn't bother to stick around to hear an explanation. Not that Kim has anything much to say in her defence, of course.
Ballymeade. I don't really know why that wasn't the end of the episode right there, it would make far more sense from a storytelling perspective, the way I see it. But any way, Sugar is excited at the prospect of being out on the town once more, Kim does not even vaguely try to display enthusiasm or even pay attention to Sugar. Sugar figures that the whole "Picking them up and moving on" thing was pretty much a barefaced lie, and gently broaches this topic. Well, for Sugar, anyway. Kim admits that that is not so much the case, Sugar points out that if Saint cares so much about who will be in Kim's bedroom, it means that... well, she
cares. That's gotta be something.
Sugar packs up her stuff to get out of jail (finally), including photographs, of which Kim appears to be present in every single one (aw, yeah). "Sugar had finally served her time," KimVo concludes, "but my punishment was just beginning." Is this going to be kinky? I get the feeling this is going to be kinky. "Repeat after me: 'I am a hypocritical cow'". Saint's god the riding crop out. It
is going to be kinky. Kim repeats, and Saint goes on "'who must learn to trust her girlfriend'". Kim, sounding rather pleased with herself, repeats that last word in a questioning tone. Saint immediately wheels around and glares at her; Kim hurriedly agrees that she will indeed do that thing, very much so, ma'am, and then asks if the trust is reciperocated. Saint just reminds her that she is letting Sugar stay in Kim's room, which leads Kim to recall an important thing she was supposed to be doing right about now. Saint asks if she has to go; Kim, who we can now see is handcuffed to the chair she is sitting on, points out that she is fairly incapable of doing so right now, and they both giggle.
Cut to Sugar, standing outside the prison in the cold, cursing Kim's name. And that's a wrap.
Labels: Recaps, Sugar Rush
