Growing On Me

First sentence in last post still stands.

Sugar Rush Episode 1x04 - "Transmission"

Episode grade: A


Previously: Being a frustrated gay virgin makes Kim consider stupid ideas like date rape, which leads to her almost killing her brother and a "frustratingly platonic" night sharing a bed with Sugar in Paradise.

Open with some random shots of sea and "swim at your own risk" signs and the like, then on to Nathan and Matt in wetsuits and flippers marching, in the penguin-like fashion that people do when wearing flippers, up the beach to their car. Inside, Kim is writing "Sugar ♥" in the condensation on the window, like, great job keeping your lesbian crush a secret there, Kim. Stella is applying make-up. Nathan, who apparently can't read backwards, taps on Kim's window and asks if she isn't coming out. Of the car, that is. Kim ignores him. He moves on to Stella, who opens her window long enough to answer "Mmm... busy." to his "Maybe we could go to the cinema later?", shuts it again and gets out her phone to arrange more adulterous liaisons with Dale. Kim glares at her in the mirror for a while, then notices Matt staring at her window scrawlings and quickly rubs them off. KimVo writes some emo poetry: "There comes a point in life when you have to stop deluding yourself, when you realise that the lies are getting you nowhere, tangling you further in one fucked up, knotted web of deceit". Good stuff.

The way she sees it, there are two options, which will be illustrated by the not-at-all-overused Kim's Fantasy Theatre. Option one; go to Paradise and tell Sugar "I love you." Cue "WTF" reaction from Sugar. Option two; go to Paradise and tell Sugar "It's over between us. We can no longer be friends." Cue "No, Really, WTF" reaction from Sugar. Reality; go to Paradise and find Sugar in bra and rather hideous shiny blue shorts and covered in cream from the waist down. Cue "WTF" reaction from Kim. So, turns out Sugar has crabs. "Sod Darren!" she says, though she doesn't actually know if they came from him; "They don't have nametags." Kim is looking fairly disgusted with the whole thing, which only increases when Kim suggests that it might, in fact, be The Donkey's fault, or indeed Ray the doorman. Sugar eventually finishes ranting and asks Kim why she's there. Kim decides this is probably not the best time for declarations of love, and just says "Oh, nothing" and goes to light a cigarette, which Sugar quickly stops, telling her the cream is flammable. Exit Kim.

Walking home, KimVo reports that the situation makes her uneasy, and Kim decides to look up info on crabs online, discovering to her horror that they can be spread by people sharing the same bed linen. Shots of Kim inspecting herself, and KimVo tells us "Just when you thought life couldn't get any worse, you're a virgin with a sexually transmitted disease." Nathan knocks on her door and tells her supper's ready, so she hurriedly pulls her trousers back on and heads downstairs, but somehow the 'seafood paella' just doesn't look particularly appetising at this point. Nathan calls up to Stella that she should eat now, because "If Elaine's that upset, I doubt she'll be cooking". Kim asks who Elaine is. She is, appraently, a friend Stella met at the gym who's mother has just died, so Stella is going to help her sort through her things. Wearing a pair of Kim's jeans. Nathan offers his condolonces to "Emma" as Stella is about to leave, Stella says "Will do". Nathan realises his mistake just as she leaves, and looks almost suspicious for a second. By the way, so that I don't have to try to find way of saying "that's hilarious", you can pretty much assume I'm constantly laughing from now until I say otherwise.

KimVo tells us "suspicious is not a term you could use to describe Nathan, but even his curiosity was bound to be raised by the sight of his 15 year old daughter doing the washing." Kim fantasy theatres the truth, whole and nothing but, and that horse really has been beaten to a bloody pulp by now. Real Kim goes for angry and rants that someone has to do it because Stella never does anything. Nathan gets pissy at her because Stella is "out helping a friend", and Kim storms off upstairs. She really did a damn good job of making doing washing seem like a perfectly normal teenage activity there. She slumps down on her bed. Sugar is trying to call her, but she ignores it. Nathan continues to shout up the stairs and really doesn't know when to shut up. "You could at least try and [sic] be a little more supportive of your mother! When she's helping someone! ...in their, in their hour of need!"

Cut to Stella, helping Dale in his hour of need. Except, actually, they're just struggling to get Kim's jeans off Stella, which wasn't a remotely predictable punchline, since they played that like the set-up was the punchline. Good job. Dale goes in for the real thing, but soon stops, because they "are not alone"; Stella has crabs too! All the cool kids are doing it. Stella and Dale both blame each other for it, Stella ridicules the suggestion that they came from Nathan, Dale pulls the front of his boxers out and points out that he doesn't have any. Stella tries to claim that doesn't mean anything, as "they're like nits. They like hair that's clean." She exits to go to the chemist, leaving Dale to pay for the hotel room. He sits down on the bed in anger, then quickly jumps up and starts patting himself down.

Cut to Kim retrieving her washing and turning around to find Stella about to put her own load on. Kim and Stella both look mightily suspicious of each other. There's a quick flashback to Kim asking Stella if those are her jeans she's wearing so the slower viewers can figure out exactly what's going on. Nathan is utterly perplexed to find Stella also about to do some washing and asks what the hell is going on, but interrupts himself to tell Stella "Cotton's on D." Stella angrily tells him she knows how the washing machine works, then immediately kicks it, shouting "Work, you bloody thing!" She storms upstair with no word of explanation to Nathan, who continues to look confused and asks "How was Elaine?"

Upstairs, Kim and Stella give each other shifty glances in the hallway, then barricade the doors to their respective rooms and set to applying cream. They exit simultaneously, both walking like penguins in spite of a total lack of flippers.

Living room, ridiculous only-on-TV coincidence #2908: There's a documentary about crabs (regular kind, not pubic) on TV! Kim and Stella both look miserable. Nathan asks if they can smell something. They give simultaneous answers, and I can't tell if they're contradictory or not. Stella definitely says "hair remover", but she's a lot louder, so I can't make out Kim's answer at all. Anyway, shifty glances all round.

Back upstairs, Stella, scratching herself furiously, goes to Kim's room for another "Can we talk?" Stella babbles that she couldn't help noticing downstairs and with the washing and so on, and both, understandably, look incredibly uncomfortable. KimVo is all 'oh god, oh god, stay calm, don't give anything away', but totally changes her tune when Stella says "Oh god, what have I done?" Stella takes a loooooooong time to get the point: in spite of earlier evidence to the contrary, she assumes the crab spreading is Dale's fault. "This was turning into a very interesting situation," KimVo says, and I couldn't agree more. The plot of this episode is so very awesome. Kim keeps an excellent poker face throughout Stella's explanation, and, as Stella is explaining that the crabs are treatable, Kim finally decides to put her out of her misery a little by saying "Already have." More uncomfortable silence, then Stella pleadingly asks "You won't tell your dad?". Kim, in an awesome haughty tone tells her "You're to stop borrowing my things. They look fat on you anyway." And also, Stella has to stop seeing Dale. Stella tries to hug her, but Kim gives a disgusted face and pulls away, and Stella exits, tail between her legs.

The whole family are gathered in the ForniKitchen, Stella retrieving her washing, Kim in pyjamas with a cup of tea, Matt giving a barbie doll a haircut and Nathan doing ironing, can't stop itching. Ruh-roh! Kim and Stella give each other a look, and Kim approaches Nathan and says "Dad?" Music stops. Stella holds her breath. So do I. "Night," Kim says. Nathan smiles.

And now the laughter stops. Kim is tossing and turning in her bed, there's an appropriately timed thunderstorm and we can hear Nathan and Stella arguing. Matt holds up some creepy dolls with tribal markings painted on them. Then Kim is sitting on the bed with her arm around him, and we cut to the argument in progress; Nathan yells "The evidence is crawling all over me, they're crabs, Stella! Pubic lice! Passed on through sexual contact!" Stella tries to claim they could be scabies, and that he "might have picked them up at the office, or on the bus", and tells him to keep his voice down when he shouts her down. Nathan says "You're the only person I've slept with in 18 years, now could you please tell me what is going on here?" Stella starts to answer, then pauses as they notice Kim standing in the doorway. Stella realises the jig is up and comes clean with him. "I've been seeing.. sleeping with someone else. Dale." Nathan is all "No please, please no. Not him. Not the decorator." Like it would be so much better if it was a total stranger or something. It's one those really odd things to take significance that really gets to you, you know? Kim stands in the doorway looking forlorn. Matt sits on the stairs, much the same.

KimVo tells us she'd promised herself she wouldn't see Sugar until she was ready to admit her true feelings, but "right now, she was the only person I want to see." Kim cries, and again I must mention how awesome Olivia Hallinan is. Sugar offers hugs, then Tango, Pro Plus and vodka. She is a wise, wise girl. Well, I wouldn't have picked Tango, but that's splitting hairs. Kim notices the two boquets of flowers and giant teddy bear that have appeared in Paradise, and asks what's with that. The flowers came from Ray and The Donkey, after Sugar made them feel guilty for "spreading filth onto an underage girl" and threatened to tell the police. The bear came from Daz. "Probably won it on the pier, the cheap git. If he don't do better, next time, he's finished." This gets Kim laughing a little. KimVo tell us "Sugar was still totally shameless" and that it didn't occur to her that Kim's family crisis was totally her fault. Sugar laughs about the idea of a virgin with an STD and says "It's always the same with you, innit, Kim? All the pain without the pleasure." Then she notices Kim scratching herself, and rolleyeingly tells her she obviously didn't do a good job applying the cream, and insists on giving Kim a second helping herself. Kim, unsurprisingly, raises no objections. Camera moves away and watches Kim's clothes get thrown across the room as an acousticy, female singery cover of Teenage Kicks plays us out. You can tell this episode was great because for the first time, I wrote the whole recap at once (aside from a few final draft changes, like the addition of this sentence) without taking any breaks.