My One Big Eyeball #4

Yeah, I'm doing away with the whole "PREVIOUSLY/NOW/WHAT IT THINK OF IT ALL" nonsense and just cramming in a big block of text. OK!


Battlestar Galactica 3x05 - Collaborators
Episode grade: A-

So, this episode certainly bears extremely strong similarities to season one's Litmus, one of the two actual bad episodes of this show thus far, but fortunately it's very well done this time round.

Heroic and joyful rescue last week, even tempered as it was with Kara and Tigh's losses obviously meant we had to go extremely bleak this time. Condoned by exceedingly teporary President Tom Zarek, Tigh, Tyrol, Anders and three other Resistance mentalists are carrying out "trials" and executions of Cylon collaborators. Bye, Jammer! Anders, who has remained remarkably sane, particular in comparison to the others, can't keep on with it, so they draft in Kara, who has gone remarkably insane, even in comparison to the others, to take his place. Felix Gaeta is next on their list of collaborators, and he almost dies due to awesomely refusing to try to defend himself, since that would condone their farcical trials, but is saved when Kara goes full on crazy ranting at him, leading the others to the revelation that Gaeta was their leak inside Baltar's administration, which, as Jacob has pointed out, is kind of stupid that they didn't already know, since Baltar's administration appeared to consist entirely of Felix Gaeta, but it's not hard to get past.

Speaking of Baltar, he's chilling out in a bathrobe on a Cylon Basestar, and continuing to go utterly crazy. He's maybe even beating Kara, but then, he had a two season head start.

But everything turns out OK in the end when Roslin is re-elected president (at least, I assume there was an election?) and issues a full pardon to everyone in the entire fleet (sucks to be you, Gaius!). What happened on New Caprica stays on New Caprica. And it's not like anyone will carry on prosecuting supposed offenders because there's no way they can instantly heal all the horrible shit that went on for the last year and a half, because there;s just no possible instant fix and that was kind of the point of the episode, right?


Desperate Housewives 3x05 - Nice She Ain't
Episode grade: B+

Susan tries her darnedest to get Mike to remember, but it just ain't working, so she kidnaps him from the hospital. This gets a slight glimmer of recognition when she trips over the curb, but after an awesome showdown with Edie, she's still definitely on the losing side here. Evil!

Biggest plus-point of this season so far; Andrew's return. Not only is he hilarious in and of himself, somehow he makes Bree and Orson work in spite of him being a raving psychotic. Bree, very much excellently back to her old self, puts an end to Danielle's relationship with her history teacher, despite some blackmail from Danielle, by blackmailing the guy into breaking up with her himself, or she'll get him fired. And then Danielle sticks the nail in the coffin by getting him fired anyway.

Crazy Nora's back into Lynette's storyline, and she's starting to make her inevitable moves on Tom. Tom's big dream is to open a pizza place, which Lynette is, of course, not too thrilled about. Nora seizes this opportunity to, in her obnoxious way, encourage Lynette to be harsh on Tom's plans, then telling Tom she's totally behind him and Lynette is a stupid meanie face. And tom is totally buying it, the fool. Also, Kayla acts ridiculously young for a supposed 11 year old, but considering she was raised by THAT, it's kind of understandable, no?

And finally, Carlos still believes that Gabby's totally still in love with him, really, and she has a hard time persuading him otherwise. First of all, she tries pretending to sleep with an old rival of his, but this just strengthens his conviction when he discovers she's faking the whole thing. So she tries again with a different guy, only for real this time, which seems to actually convince him that she really is over him. Just in time for her to start having doubts herself! Oh, Desperate Housewives. Oh, so very much.


Heroes 1x05 - Hiros
Episode grade: A-

"Save the cheerleader, save the world". That's Future!Hiro's message to Peter, and the general catchphrase of the show, which I still love so very much. Future!Hiro also tells Peter to go see Isaac, so he does, and manages to finish off one of Isaac's painting's for him without taking any heroin at all. Imagine that.

Speaking of the cheerleader, she wakes up in hospital, tells her creepy dad about the whole rape thing, so he rather leniently gets his creepy silent assisstant to totally erase Rapey the Quarterback's memory to the point where he doesn't even know his own name. Oooh.

In other cliffhanger resolution news, Mr. Bennett and his silent assisstant took Nathan, not Niki, but Nathan escapes them by flying away, fast enough to create a sonic boom. So. Freaking Cool. He touches down outside a restaurant where present Hiro's eating WAFFLES! alone, after parting ways with Ando following an argument. Hiro, speaking better English than it seemed like he could before, (because Future!Hiro's around, or bad writng? You decide!) tells Nathan about what he saw in his trip to the future. Nathan finds him as adorable as the rest of us, especially when he mentions seeing Nathan win the election by a landslide, so he gives him a lift back into Vegas.

Back in Vegas, Nathan runs into Niki again, and she tells him about the blackmail thing, and he awesomely uses this knowledge to get himself a raise from two to four million from Linderman. Niki goes home, discovers that her jailbird husband D.L. has flown away, then Ando shows up at her house, and she deals with him very sweetly. Ando finds his way back to Hiro and they have a nice reunion. Hiro tries once again to phone Isaac to warn him about his imminent brain removal, and this time, Peter's there, so after hearing Hiro's name, he mirrors last week's ending with a "My name is Peter Petrelli. I have a message for you." Excellent.


Lost 3x04 - Every Man For Himself
Episode grade: C-

In flashbacks that barely register on my radar screen, Sawyer's in prison, and cons some guy to earn his freedom. Because, in case you hadn't noticed, he's a conman! Oh, and he has a daughter with whatever her name was that he conned back in The Long Con's flashbacks. And he gives her his share of the money he cons to buy his freedom. Con!

On Other island, which apparently is actually another island off the coast of Craphole Island, Sawyer's in prison, and doesn't do jack. He also doesn't do Jack, which I'm sure some people are endlessly disappointed by. Well, the chick that Sun shot is back, and Jack is unable to save her. But he might be able to save Benry from CANCER! Oh, and Sawyer continues trying to escape the zoo, so Benry puts a bomb in him that will explode if he goes under 50 miles per hour. I'm barely even joking. Pickett, lowliest of the named Others, gets mad about dead Other chick, since she's his wife, so the power of contrivance compels him to beat the crap out of Sawyer unless Kate will say she loves him (Sawyer, not Pickett). WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, LOST. Oh, and the ceiling bars in the cages are spaced far enough apart that Kate can climb out, so she does, but Sawyer's worried about his pacemaker bomb, so he refuses to go with her. He manages to fit in the episode title about a billion times, but Kate's a few behind and tells him "Live Together, Die Alone" and climbs back into her fucking cage. And then Benry takes Sawyer up a mountain to a) show him that he's on a different island, b) get into an Of Mice And Men quoting contest and c) tell him he doesn't really have a bomb in him. Sawyer has every opportunity to push him off a cliff but doesn't because... I got nothing. I may have got some of that in the wrong order or something, but this episode was immensly retarded, so I don't care.

Meanwhile, back on Craphole island, Desmond can still see the future. We learn nothing whatsoever from any of these scenes.