My One Big Eyeball, week of 19/02/07

Yeah, it's back.

Battlestar Galactica 3x15 - A Day In The Life
Episode Grade: B

Man, the first half of this season was so incredible that it's pretty understandable that people are going to have violent reactions when they start putting out episodes that are just OK ("The Woman King" was straight up awful though, I agree). OK, Baltar's trial is the big endgame for the season, which means we're treading water until that happens. I want to see more of Caprica's adventures on Galactica as much as the next guy, don't get me wrong, but apparently we've got three more episodes of filler to sit through first, and if you don't just accept that fact and deal with them on their own merits, you're going to go crazy.

So, turns out Baltar and Caprica are not as special as they like to think, because Adama's got an ex in his head that talks to him too, but only on his wedding anniversary, and that's a little stupid, really. On the other hand, Adama/Roslin flirting goes into even more overdrive than that time when they got stoned on New Caprica, which is awesome in any language. And while they'rre doing that, they also decide that Apollo's going to be the offical Cutter Through Lawyer Bullshit for Baltar's trial, because as we know, Lee's always had a big interest in law which totally didn't come out of nowhere.

Meanwhile, Tyrol and Cally spend some quality time together in one of those nice out of nowhere life threatening situations that this show always does so well, when they're doing some routine maintenance and suddenly the ship's automatic systems go crazy and trap them in a room because there's a tiny pinprick of a hull breach in there. And there's no time or way to get them out except firing them out of the ship and catching them in Athena's Raptor, and man, you know, I love people floating out in space and being caught in spaceships, like that bit with Squall and Rinoa in Final Fantasy VIII, and the Farscape season one finale. There's something intensely beautiful about that image. That plus the whole deal that Jacob pointed out with the elegant symmetry with the Collaborators airlocking make this part a really fantastic moment in an otherwise fairly average episode.

And Hotdog has an STD!


Desperate Housewives 3x15 - The Little Things You Do Together
Episode Grade: A-

It's totally the season finale, except that there's still seven or so episode to go. Huh? Oh, right, because Marcia Cross is taking time off, so they had to rush things, except it doesn't actually feel rushed, it just feels awesome. I really think they've done a fantastic job this season; I was extremely weary about it at the start, when Orson seemed to be a George rehash that couldn't possibly go anywhere good, and slowly but surely, they've completely turned that on it's head, and Orson is actually totally a good guy and absolutely perfect for Bree, and I love them for totally punking me like that. I mean, there's still the tiny matter of DELIBERATELY DRIVING A CAR INTO MIKE, and maybe they should deal with that a little, but knowing them, they probably won't, but still. Orson's crazy mother was a truly great villain, which is always good.

Meanwhile, in storylines that will have to carry the rest of the season in Bree's absence and I can't imagine how that will possibly go well, the Scavos finally open their pizzeria, which gives a perfect opportunity for the whole neighbourhood to get together, and yet there's nex to no interactions between all the housewives, which is a real shame, because everybody knows those are great. Ian rushes a proposal to Susan before Mike starts remember thaty he loves her, and while he is nearly as perfect for Susan as Orson for Bree, they're pretty boring, truth be told. And Zach also proposes to Gabby, which gets a resounding "no way in hell", naturally, and that's not particularly interesting either. I'm really not optimistic about the rest of the season. But 90% of this episode is the culmination of the Orson story, which is great, so this one's the best since "Bang".


Heroes 1x16 - Unexpected
Episode Grade: A

Heroes is still completely freaking cool to a ridiculous, and no one can take that away from me. NO ONE! Since I last said anything about it, man, everything happened. Peter saved the cheerleader, saved the world, and also CHRIS ECCLESTONE fantastic!ally joined the cast as an invisible dude named Claude who beats Peter about the head whenever deserved, which is often. And far too much else to go into.

So, this week, Hiro teamed up with some kind of Sin City-esque misanthropist bounty hunter or something, who taught him the important lesson that other people will only let you down and it's better to work alone, man. So Hiro told Ando to go back to Japan and got on a bus (driven by Stan Lee! Man, you know, I can't wait for the next season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero?) to somewhere by himself, so I'm sure there'll be a joyous reunion in store for those two crazy kids a week or two down the line.

Also, Matt, AKA Thought Police teamed up with the other Heroes with obvious superhero names; Ted Sprague, AKA Radioactive Man, and a new one, Hana Gittelman, AKA Wireless, who can connect to the internet WITH HER BRAIN. And they are all mad at Mr. Bennet for kidnapping them and making them forget what the hell happened, so they go to his house to confront him. At the same time, Claire's mad at him too for making Mrs. Bennet forget so much that her brain is melting, and she is maybe going to team up with them.

And last week, Sylar teamed up with Mohinder to track down other Heroes and eat their brains, only Mohinder doesn't know about the second part, so he's somewhat surprised when the woman with super-hearing they catch up with turns up dead the next day. Mohinder decides that this makes their mission more important, because they have to warn these people about Sylar! But, come on, Sylar can't eat too many brains before Mohinder starts getting suspicious of the fact that every Hero they track down dies soon after. It's gonna be pretty funny while it lasts though.

Finally, Peter continues to team up with Claude in an effort to learn to control his powers and not explode New York, and then also saves Claude from being captured by Mr. Bennet and his Primatech Paper crew. Bennet gives Isaac a gun in case Peter turns up at his place and tells him to shoot the Peter, save the world, but when Peter actually does show up, he gets all invisible and telekinetic on Isaac's ass and Isaac shoots Simone by mistake. Oops!


Lost 3x09 - Stranger In A Strange Land
Episode grade: F

So, you may recall that before Lost took a giant hiatus, I was getting majorly tired of it, and stated that they had two episodes to convince me to keep watching. Well, the first of those was "Not In Portland", which was pretty much "I Do" Part 2, and sucked about as much, but it had a cool Clockwork Orange ripoff and... Man, I'm sure there was something else I liked about it, but hell if I can remember now. But then, in "Flashes Before Your Eyes", the bastards went ahead and pulled their actual best episode ever, for real, totally out of nowhere. It was kind of a wacky hybrid of The Butterfly Effect and Eternal Sunshine and all those kind of films, and I totally love that shit, plus there was a bunch of the kind of cool stuff that you used to be able to expect from this show, dude in red shoes having a house falling on him, crazy dream world (or not) version of Charlie telling people to "stay off the drugs", just awesome.

And thanks to that, I didn't give up, and I actually bothered to watch this utter crapfest. And, I mean, I hated it to like a "Random Shoes" level even before I learned that the promo monkeys advertised it as "answering three of Lost's biggest mysteries". So, what were those three mysteries? Well, #1: How did Jack get his tattoos? Yeah, that's sure been weighing heavy on my mind in those sleepless nights. #2: Uh... No, I've got nothing. But like, even if we ignore the ridiculous empty promise, and ask the simple question of what happened in this episode that served any useful purpose? I've got nothing. OH, WAIT! Karl kind of reminded me of River Tam, and that plus his association with Alex, that's a new character I can actually feel something for, which I guess had to happen eventually with how many of them Alcatraz has been spewing out. Juliet who? Sherriff wha?

Nonetheless, I'll watch again next week, because I think I've ascertained that I still like the show as much as Season 2 when they keep away from the Others' camp, which has just been an absolutely fruitless endeavour from start to finish (get Alex and the cameras the hell away from them ASAP, yo), and it seems like they're going to alternate between the two on a weekly basis for the moment. So next week might actually be somewhat tolerable.


Scrubs 6x10 - My Theraputic Month
Episode Grade: B

And, joining Lost in the "totally sucking this year" camp, Scrubs. Only, Lost had two pretty good seasons with clear signs that it was on the brink of collapsing under its own weight any time soon, wheras Scrubs had five near-perfect seasons with absolutely no signs that anything was going to change, then all of a sudden season six came along and everyone but the Janitor seemed to totally forget how to be funny OR poignant, both which they'd always been great at before. But after nine episodes, including a freakin' musical, this season is finally starting to look like Scrubs again. It's not dizzyingly hilarious, but at least I actually laughed a few times, and this one actually seemed like it would be worth watching again. Here's hoping the upwardly mobileness continues for the rest of the season.

Yeah, I can't write so much about Scrubs when it's just funny with no particular story going on, as this one was.


Veronica Mars 3x14 - Mars, Bars
Episode Grade: B+

And finally. I hadn't yet got into this show back in the old One Big Eyeballs, so let's have a little background. Veronica Mars is a college student (as of the start of this season) and also a private investigator. Once upon a time, she floated like a butterfly without a care in the world, but then someone roofied and raped her (only not really! (but then, surprise! actually it was really)) and her best friend was murdered and it turned out life kind of sucked. The first season was pretty damn perfect, especially towards the end when the big mysteries of "Who killed Lilly Kane?" and "Who raped Veronica?" were solved (well, the second on until they decided to totally rewrite history at the end of the second season, anyway), but getting the right mix of clues and red herrings to a big mystery over the course of twenty two episodes is a pretty tricky business, and doing it effectively proved beyond them second time around. And while all that was going on, not enough people were actually watching the show for it to avoid cancellation, except somehow it did anyway, but it's totally living on borrowed time and everybody knows it. So, in an attempt to make it more accessible, and also maybe to lose the problems season two had, this season doesn't have one big mystery that will play out over the course of the entire season, but three smaller mysteries, of which we're now nearing the end of the second.

And furthering the extreme likelihood of it's cancellation this season, a lot of fans are hating it and giving up, especially after this episode, because they are of the insane shipper variety who hate anything that doesn't involve lots of hot steamy sex between Logan and Veronica (nauseatingly referred to as LoVe, which is the ultimate in irritating name-smushing), and they keep NOT HAVING SEX this year, dagnabbit. And Veronica is probablyly going to get together with this new guy, Piz who seems pretty shifty to me and they have NO CHEMISTRY and WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR FANS WHEN THEY SHOW YOU NOTHING BUT LOVE, ROB THOMAS??? Also, maybe some people have valid reasons. But, come on, how anyone can think they have no chemistry after seeing this video here is completely beyond me.

So, Dean O' Dell was murdered back at the start of the current season arc, and all evidence seems to point to either Professor Landry or his wife, so I'm betting it wasn't actually either of them. But really, I haven't been particular engaged with this mystery like I was with the Lily Kane murder, or the bus crash, or the rapes or any of them, but that doesn't matter because the Mysteries of the Week have been uniformly excellent while that one's been going, so I still love this season, and I could definitely deal with the entirely standalone episodes that may well happen if season four somehow miraculously comes into being.

The MotW this week is actually the second part of a two week mystery, and it turns out the guy killed himself, which seemed pretty obvious to me as soon as they revealed his debillitating illness, so I think this is probably my least favourite episode of season 3.2. While Veronica and Keith are taking way longer than they ought to to figure that one out, Logan sheds his emo coocoon at last and goes on a Valentine's Day scavenger hunt with Mac and Parker and Bronson, and oh, the wacky, wacky hijinks. It definitely has nothing on last week's Logan subplot as far as awesome cuteness goes, I'm afraid.

And then Lamb dies the most anticlimactic main character death I have ever seen. This development has some people wailing and moaning and making up insane conspiracy stories about how Rob Thomas sold his soul at some point after season one and he just did this to futher destroy the hopes and dreams of the fans, but those of us possessing of some sanity, once our brains finally manage to process what in the hell just happened, love it.